My Mr. and I we talk, a lot. And we talk a lot with each other. I know a lot of you are thinking, well that’s great, communication is a building block or even the main foundation of a good relationship and that is true.
But sometimes a little quiet is nice too. You know how they say (who is ‘they’ anyway…?) you know you are really comfortable with someone when you can sit in a room together and be quiet together with out it being awkward? Well that never happens with us, unless we are watching a movie, playing a video game, mad at each other or the kids are around etc. (which covers most of everyday..)
I love our conversations and I wouldn’t change it for a minute, well except the time I changed it for five…let me tell you about it.
The other night we did our evening retreat to the bedroom, hiding ourselves away for a few minutes of quiet time and my Mr. started talking about work. Normally I pay full attention but I think I just wanted some peace and quiet and I was feeling bored by work talk.
So I suggested that we play a little game.
We sit down together on the bed and set the timer and not talk for 5 minutes.
We had to do nothing but be there.
I laid down the rules because I like to make up rules.
It was suggested by me that we maintain eye contact, no hanky-panky or kissing allowed and just sit/lay there in silence for the entire 5 minutes.
At first it was fun, we were giggly because we knew we couldn’t talk, made bug eyes at each other and my Mr. kept trying to use hand gestures to communicate and I gave a stern faced ‘no’ head shake.
Time went by.
By then end of it I asked him what he thought about it all and he said that it was hard not to talk. I agreed and elaborated for him. I realized that I really love to talk to him. I found little random thoughts popping into my mind that often do and longing to share them with him.
I also realized that a little silence goes a long way if you remain connected. Silence with separation is not good but silence in togetherness can create the mood for some other forms of communicating 😉
So I strongly urge you to give it a try.
See how you feel at the end of the five minutes.
You might be pleasantly surprised and if at the end of the five minutes you realize that you want a divorce, please don’t blame me.
- Quieting the Mind by Robert Adams (standinginanopenfield.wordpress.com)
- Silence Truly Is Golden (accidentalbuddhism.com)
- Silent Love (pathfinderscommune.com)
- Afraid of Silence (reaseludo.wordpress.com)